Friendship

When I look back, I know that the good feelings, of security and light-heartedness have washed out any feelings I must have had of sadness, fear, or boredom.   I was never bored.  There was so much to do, even when I was alone:  arrange my plastic animal collection in new ways;  draw; use my Fashion plates;  dress and undress my Barbies; make blanket forts; play with matchbox cars in our little yard, making roads in the dirt.  And that was just what I could do alone.

 With a friend, we could play wall ball, army, jump and squeal in the sprinkler; practice cartwheels;  the possibilities were endless.  With a friend in the wide red leather back seat of my mom’s enourmous Pontiac, everything was fun.  Whatever music played on the radio was what we listened to and sang along to.  Errands.  To the supermarket, to the drugstore, it didn’t matter.  With a friend, it was just background to endless conversations and sharing.  Sharing sugar dot candies from paper strips;  sharing and trading glittery-plastic jelly bracelets, sharing stickers, sharing barettes and banana clips;  sharing secrets:  who we thought was “cute” and what we dreamed about, and what we over heard our parents fight about.  Through the frigid grocery store isles, our conversations would continue, or our dances, or jokes that only we thought were funny.  It really didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing, a good friend was enough.  

Things to do with a 14 year old boy that aren't "lame"

I miss the days of crafts, cooking, going for walks, and playing with my little boy.  As I've lamented before, our list of shared interests has dwindled over the past year.  I am sad.  Jackson, now 14,  could care less. So, that's good.  He's right on track developmentally.  (sniff, sniff)
Here's my list of fun things for us to do this summer that are not "lame" (unlike hiking, biking, art, visiting museums, and baking)

• Play one-on-one in the driveway then cool off with the hose (we already do this, sans the hose) Winner gets to hose off the loser…or maybe vice-versa
• Make weird popsicles…jalapeno lime orange;  chili pineapple;
• 4 Square Tournament with kids and adults
• Ultimate burger cook-off
• Fish local streams and brooks for little brookies
• Take photos of John (my husband) sleeping in his camp chair and make a photo montage
• Summer Photo Challenge:  take one photo every day of summer
• Drop water balloons off the roof on unsuspecting friends
• Set up a double slip ‘n slide
• Go to Waterville to the big pool we used to go to when Jackson was a baby, then go out for Indian Food
• Go to a concert in Bangor or Portland on the waterfront
• Go to Boston on a “Duck Tour” and see the Blue Man Group
• Go “mining” in Bethel
• Jump off the Kingfield bridge
• Go to Houston Brook Falls and jump off the cliff

Not my usual type of post...

This post is way out of alignment with what I usually write about, but I'm angry and need an outlet.

Why is it that teachers are still using the word "tattle"?  In fact, why is it that on Pinterest there are THOUSANDS of pins dedicated to "teaching the difference between tattling and telling"?

When teachers send the message to "not to tattle" they are really sending the message not to tell.  To face their problems alone, to figure it out, to be a bystander who "minds their beeswax".  O sure, there are all sorts of helpful videos and posters and flow charts to help students navigate the murky waters of when to tell and when not to tell.  It's not okay.  They are still getting the message that sometimes if you tell you will be ridiculed.  This idea takes root and by the time students get into fifth grade the idea is rooted to not tell.  About any harassment.  Ever.  It's dangerous and it's wrong of teachers to ever use the word "tattle."

 This poster is especially repulsive.

What's the solution?  I learned from Stan Davis, author of Schools Where Everyone Belongs teachers can simply say, "Thank you for telling me" when a child tells on another child for an incident that does not pose a threat to anyone.   Let's say Charlie runs up to you and reports that Gina is using a red pen to do her homework.  All I have to do is say, "Thank you for telling me."  I don't have to address the issue or talk to Gina at all.  Charlie has gotten the message that it is good to tell the teacher when something concerns him or when someone is breaking the rules. Gina gets to go about her business.  I have found that I just need to let my students in on my approach:  that I want them to tell me when something is wrong, but it's up to me to decide what to do from there.

Please, if you are a teacher, try this approach.  It actually saves time.  You don't have to go into your whole dissertation about the difference between telling and tattling, everyone can get back to enjoying their recess time, and maybe students with time will not have the "don't tell" culture ground into their psyche.

Shedding

Everything is hatching, blooming, changing.  Here is a dragonfly exoskeleton and a caddisfly case.

It makes me consider what habits I could shed.  I am reading Gretchen Ruben's Better than Before.  It's a great read.  She doesn't tell you what to do, she describes many strategies for adopting, letting go of, or changing habits.  Some of the habits I am considering are:

A new exercise program:  strength 3X/week (Mon, Wed, Fri); Yoga (Tues/Thurs/Sun) with running or something cardiovascular when I can fit it in for fun

Eating "clean"

Adopting a new filing system for all the paper in our lives

Committing to never "winging it" at school, to always have my plans for the next day in place before I leave for the day.  

Putting my clothes away and not allowing them to pile up on my dresser or in clothes baskets

De-cluttering everything possible, one room at a time.

Making my bed each morning.

Read the news at least two times per week so that I am better informed about what's going on in the world...but WHERE?!  It has to be easy and convenient!  (Easy to do, hard to fail is how habits stick)

Accepting my husband's habits as his own, which I cannot alter...but my son is fair game.