Why is it that teachers are still using the word "tattle"? In fact, why is it that on Pinterest there are THOUSANDS of pins dedicated to "teaching the difference between tattling and telling"?
When teachers send the message to "not to tattle" they are really sending the message not to tell. To face their problems alone, to figure it out, to be a bystander who "minds their beeswax". O sure, there are all sorts of helpful videos and posters and flow charts to help students navigate the murky waters of when to tell and when not to tell. It's not okay. They are still getting the message that sometimes if you tell you will be ridiculed. This idea takes root and by the time students get into fifth grade the idea is rooted to not tell. About any harassment. Ever. It's dangerous and it's wrong of teachers to ever use the word "tattle."
What's the solution? I learned from Stan Davis, author of Schools Where Everyone Belongs teachers can simply say, "Thank you for telling me" when a child tells on another child for an incident that does not pose a threat to anyone. Let's say Charlie runs up to you and reports that Gina is using a red pen to do her homework. All I have to do is say, "Thank you for telling me." I don't have to address the issue or talk to Gina at all. Charlie has gotten the message that it is good to tell the teacher when something concerns him or when someone is breaking the rules. Gina gets to go about her business. I have found that I just need to let my students in on my approach: that I want them to tell me when something is wrong, but it's up to me to decide what to do from there.
Please, if you are a teacher, try this approach. It actually saves time. You don't have to go into your whole dissertation about the difference between telling and tattling, everyone can get back to enjoying their recess time, and maybe students with time will not have the "don't tell" culture ground into their psyche.
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